Posts Tagged ‘military’

My, Have Things Changed!


About 12:45 am, I got a text on my phone that woke me up!  Normally, I turn the sound off on my mobile phone overnight, but while Hubby is deployed, it stays on.  I NEVER want to miss a chance to hear his voice.  But now, over 10 years since his first deployment, technology has changed so much and I got a text from him.

Not only can he call me more often, but we also can Skype, e-mail, and text!!  This makes deployments much easier.  I remember during the first deployments when wives (and I say wives because they did more complaining then the husbands that I met) would complain about not getting a daily e-mail from their soldiers.  We were so lucky that our guys had internet access and that we could get the occasional phone call.  After a tearful phone call from a spouse, upset about not hearing from her husband after two days, I decided to change my approach.

Early in my husband’s first deployment, I had gone home to visit my parents.  While there, a very dear friend of my mom’s was over for lunch.  I only knew her as mom’s friend, and that her daughter’s went to my school (they were a few years behind me).  What I didn’t know was that her husband served in Viet Nam.  She had asked me about communications between me and Hubby.  I told her about getting frequent e-mails and occasional phone calls.  She then talked about how when her hubby was deployed it was months between letters and how you didn’t know if he was dead or alive because of lack of communication.  Her tone, body language and eyes changed in those moments that she recalled her experience as a military spouse.  She then went back to her regular self and said how glad she was that times had changed.  It was then I would no longer have a pity party over not hearing from Hubby, because it could be worse.

From then on, when any spouse would complain about not getting a call or e-mail that day, I would gently recall the story I had heard about Viet Nam.  For some it would give perspective, but for others it did nothing.

Now, I am so grateful for technology and being able to see Hubby often… and it makes my kids happy too!!

 

He’s Gone, So Something is Bound to Go Wrong!


Hubby left home on Wednesday.  On Thursday, one of the shutters on the front of the house fell off.  On Friday, my darling 3 1/2-year-old, T decided to sprinkle her juice on my laptop!!  And this is only the beginning of his deployment!!

Many of my friends talk about how when hubby is away that things break or major things happen that normally don’t!  I had one friend that her car just up and died on her and their second car was in an accident.  I’ve also know spouses that have had to have major surgery, extended illnesses and deaths in the family.  Sure, we can send a Red Cross emergency message and they can come home if it is warranted, but the timing just stinks!!  The last time Hubby was gone, my washing machine broke three months before we were to move overseas.  I just needed it to last 3 more months, but no, it wouldn’t cooperate!!  I had to rent a washing machine for 3 months.  So now, we try to prepare for emergencies just a little better when we know he will be away.

The good news is, a neighbor fixed my shutter.  And while the juice fried my motherboard, all the information on my hard drive was intact!  So now I am typing from my “new-to-me” refurbished computer!  I will no longer be leaving my computer open while T is around and I am so happy that we found a great computer repair shop that has two fabulous computer geeks that took care of me today!!

19th Amendment — 90 years old


A few days ago, August 26, the anniversary of when the 19th amendment was enacted, came and went and I didn’t hear a mention of it!  Okay, I am living overseas, but it didn’t even show on any of the news network websites that I looked at.  And why is this something that bothers me… The 19th amendment gave women the right to vote!!!!

So many young girls/women don’t understand that it was less than 100 years ago that women received the right to vote.  And it was women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott and Susan B. Anthony that got the ball rolling.  I wish that more was taught in the schools about these amazing women.  And just maybe we can find role models for our daughters that do not include Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan!!!

If it werent’ for the woman of the United States Suffrage Movement, women would still be unable to vote, not own property and you would never see them holding office or in the military!  Take some time to learn about these women.  You may be surprise about what they did for you and the women that came before you!

Deployments and Being Lonely


Lately I’ve been reading military spouse blogs about how lonely they are without their husbands.  Now don’t get me wrong — I do get lonely without my husband, but it’s not a constant feeling.  And I don’t dwell on it.  I get out and keep myself from being lonely.  Everyone has the right to their feelings, but to say in general statements that all Army Wives are lonely is a big mistake.

To start, let’s look at the word lonely as “Webster” sees it.

Lonely — \ˈlōn-lē\

  1. being without company, cut off from others
  2. not frequented by human beings
  3. sad from being alone
  4. producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

During a deployment, I am never without company — I have children that are there and I make sure to surround myself with friends that do understand what I am going through.  One of the pluses of living in a military community is having those types of people around.  That covers the human beings part and not being alone.  I, personally, never understand those people who “move home” when there husbands are deployed.  I think that this causes more problems for the one left behind. 
 
Living in a community that has a military installation makes life easier.  All the resources you need are there.  Support groups, commissary, childcare, clinics, etc.  I don’t feel that enough people take advantage of the opportunities that are given on the military bases.  FRG’s (if run correctly), AFTB, and Family Support Centers can help everyone — and it turn, getting involved can give you an opportunity to give back by volunteering at those some places.  You can pass your knowledge onto other spouses that may be currently going through something that you were able to deal with earlier in your life. 
 
Besides all the benefits living near a military installation, I don’t move because that is my home.  I don’t want to up-root my family any more than I have too.  We’ve been married for almost 10 years and we’ve lived in 6 different places.  I hate moving on a good day, so why move anymore then I have too! 
 
Do I miss my husband?  Yes.  It is not easy to have him half way around the world, but I can not stop living because we are apart.  I lived on my own before I was married and I can do so now.  It just means that I need to be my own person. 
 
There is a time that I do get lonely — is late at night, when I should be asleep, but the bed is cold without him.

Well, I’m Getting Less Conflicted


A few days ago I wrote about my mixed feelings about building a mosque at Ground Zero.  (You can read that here.)  And now that I’ve heard a bit more news about the man responsible for the building of the mosque, Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, I am getting less conflicted.  His beliefs are warped in my opinion.  Going as far as to say that Osama Bin Laden was made in the USA and that US policies caused the 9/11 attacks.  And now it seems as if President Obama is sponsoring a trip to the Middle East being led by this man. 

I tried to find out more information about this man in mainstream news networks, but the only network that has anything about him is FOX News.  (See the video here.)    ABC and CNN have the same article about the middle east trip that is planned but not substance of exactly who this man is.  I really think that before anyone allows this mosque to be built.  The people who are building this Muslim center need to be looked into. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in freedom of religion, but I think that anyone that is building a center (religious or otherwise) needs to have the true intent shown.  Just like I wouldn’t want the Westboro Baptist Church building a religious center near me or my family.  (That link will lead you to Wikipedia, because I don’t want to add any traffic their rubbish of a website.)  When people use the guise of religion, they need to remember that hate is not/should not be part of their faith.

Ground Zero Mosque — I’m Conflicted


Here’s the basics about me — Christian, American, Mom, Army Wife, New Yorker….  And I am conflicted about the building of a mosque at Ground Zero. 

For some people this is very black and white.  But as an American, I believe in freedom of religion.  Something that others do not have in other countries.  Even in Iraq, Christians have a hard time worshiping the way they choose.  My husband served with an Iraqi soldier that was Catholic.  He kept his family in a far away location and told my husband that because their church had been burnt down, they had to worship when and where they could.  Being Catholic myself, I sent this soldier a set of rosary beads that I made for him and my husband, with my blessing, gave him the patron saint medals that I asked hubby to carry with him while deployed.  My heart ached for this man and his family.  They were not as fortunate as Americans.

The Quakers and the Puritans came to America in order to  escape religious persecution.  I won’t tell you that all was rosy for them once they got here, but it was easier than if they had stayed in England.  But they had a choice. 

As a New Yorker and an Army wife, the September 11 attacks changed my life in many ways.  I had been married for less than a year and was expecting our first child.  We never thought that he would be deployed during war-time.  War didn’t seem like something to consider.  And the attack was in my backyard.  I have friends that watch the towers come down from where they lived and worked.  I was angry for a long, long time!  I still get angry, but my anger changed over time.  First it was the loss of life and destruction, but now, the time my husband leaves his family, leaves me. 

So how can these people who decided to build this mosque think that it was a good thing.  I know that it was not them that did it and we should not blame the religion.  Any type of radical religion is dangerous and, as I see it, corrupt.  But unfortunately, this religion is where these radical terrorists came from. 

While on one hand, I believe in freedom of religion, I also think that the organizers are being insensitive.

Any thoughts?  Let me know.

Is being liberal a bad thing?!


I celebrated my friend’s 40th birthday yesterday.  He, his wife and I have all been friends since college and it has been a long time since we’ve seen each other.  In the morning, I looked up what happened on this day in history.  I do this often and it is something fun to see who he shared his birthday with (We thought it was cool that his birthday was shared with Thomas Magnum!) and other historical events.  I also decided to do this again this morning.

On my search today, August 5, there was a significant birth and death, but I’m sure that few people even know these ladies.  It was the birth of Mary Ritter Beard and the death of Millicent Garrett Fawcett.  Both ladies were part of the women’s suffrage.  Ms. Beard in both the United States and Great Britain, and Ms. Fawcett in Great Britain.  I read about what these ladies did.  And as I read, I realized that these ladies were extremely liberal for the time that they lived.  They did things that were not the “norm” of that time and wanted massive change!

For the most part, people think that because I am married to a soldier that I am very conservative.  But if you get to know me, you will realize that I am one that is not easily labeled.  It has been often said that I am too liberal to be a republican, but to conservative to be a democrat.  I’m rather stuck in the middle. 

So the next time that someone scoffs at a liberal idea, remind them that some liberal ideas are not all bad.  If they were, women may still not have the right to vote or own property!!!