Posts Tagged ‘independence’

Happy 4th of July!!! — Yes, I’m a bit early!


Today my family will be celebrating the 4th of July!  Yes, we are 8 days early, but there is a method to the madness!

We are at an overseas, joint service base and we have protestors.  They post these funny signs asking for independence from the United States and the fly our American flag upside down.  It’s very hurtful to see.  Even my children say how rude it is.  My oldest (8 years old) said that they should be arrested from protesting!  We had a long talk about freedom of speech and how protest can be a good thing!  The sad part is that I don’t even think these protestors know what they are protesting.  The base and the protestors have been here the same amount of time!  I’m all for protesting if you have a good, valid reason!  So, since they will be protesting July 4 — we celebrate early!

Now here we are, all dressed in our red, white and blue outfits (Thanks to Mom for purchasing and mailing them early!) and ready to head out to celebrate!  It will be a day of good food, good fun, and good friends!!!

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Battlemind Skills — I is for Independence


While our soldiers are gone, many of us find a new sense of independence.  As spouses we are in charge of all of the decision making that happens at home.  And our spouses trust us to make the right decisions while the are gone.  But what happens when they come back?

With all the other things that change, having our independence challenged can be difficult.  I am so use to disciplining the children myself and then my husband returns and challenges how I do things or thinks it should be done differently.  No only is this hard for me to accept, but it confuses our children.  What I may say is okay to do, suddenly their father is telling them no.  There also is the things that you enjoy doing while your husband is gone that you may feel you need to give up.  Giving up all the things you enjoy can cause resentment.  I choose to compromise with my husband on that one.  Like I’ve mentioned before, I have tea every evening with my neighbor.  Sometimes we spend and hour or more chatting.  I really do not want to give that up!  So I’ve decided that when my husband returns, I won’t give it up, but I will keep a closer eye on the clock.  I am sure that he will be okay with that compromise.

Again, talking about these things is a big help.  Let him know what you want to keep doing and if he doesn’t like it, try and compromise.  With the children, you may have to change the rules there too.  If that’s where your compromise brings you, then don’t forget to tell the children too.  Hopefully, in the end, your husband will be happy with the independence that you’ve exhibited and it will give him some peace of mind the next time he has to be away.

Note:  I am using information that can be found at www.battlemind.army.mil along with my own experience and interpretation of the information given.  I do not have any formal schooling on this topic.  If you are married to a soldier and need help with redeployment, please contact your post’s mental health clinic, chain of concern or unit chaplain.

Battlemind Skills — A is for Adding/Subtracting Family Roles


A is for Adding/Subtracting Family Roles

With any family, there are roles that a husband and a wife have.  As my sister and her husband refer to them, blue and pink jobs.  There are also a few that are referred to as “purple” jobs.  Traditional pink jobs are the housekeeping, cooking, child rearing, etc.  Traditional blue jobs are the yard work, auto maintenance and repair, home repairs, etc.  With military families, the roles change all the time depending on deployments and field training exercises.

For the spouse that stays at home, they become more independent.  They take on all the pink and blue roles.  You become the mother and the father.  One of the blue jobs in our family is taking the trash out to the curb for pick up.  In the beginning of this deployment, I would forget to take the trash out every other week!  And recently, I installed a new car battery!  And when I soldiers come home, they have to work themselves back into our lives.

For the solider, they give up all the jobs that they did while at home and start new ones in the battlefield.  They completely change their role from husband/father/solider to just soldier.  Their mind is focused on mission.

With homecoming, it can be stressful on both parties to change roles again.  We try to slowly switch roles.  My husband takes the garbage role back (and boy am I thankful) first.  And little by little, we get back to they way we were.  It just takes time.  The hardest role for us to get back to is mother and father.  I think the reason it’s harder is because of the children.  The children are the ones that make it harder.  They are so use to Mommy being the “go to” person in the house that they have a hard time knowing that Daddy can help too.  In the end, they come around too!

Note:  I am using information that can be found at www.battlemind.army.mil along with my own experience and interpretation of the information given.  I do not have any formal schooling on this topic.  If you are married to a soldier and need help with redeployment, please contact your post’s mental health clinic, chain of concern or unit chaplain.