Posts Tagged ‘family’

We Love Skype!!


We were able to Skype with Hubby for about 25 minutes yesterday!   It was wonderful to see and hear him.  All the kids said hello, but K stayed the longest since she was unable to talk to him on the phone the day before… his call got dropped!

Thanks goodness for all this communication.  It makes this just a little bit better!

Settling In


Hubby called today and let us know that he is at his final destination, even if he will not have his own quarters for a few more days.  He has met his co-workers and found out that a friend of ours is just a few offices down the hall.  I can hear it in his voice that he is doing well, even without us around!

We are settling in at home too.  The kids still miss Daddy, but their behavior is getting better and not as many outbursts as in the first couple of weeks.  We are getting into our new groove and getting used to the new normal.  On the bright side, in the next few weeks, we will be able to see friends and family while we keep busy this summer!!

We Keep Moving Forward


Today is the day that my husband is heading overseas. He’s been gone for almost two weeks, but we’ve been able to talk to him on a daily basis. With his departure, we don’t know when we will here from him again. Most likely, it will be by the end of the week.

He’s had a long dwell time, so we knew deployment was in the near future. It’s been almost 5 years since he returned from his last deployment. While it’s been wonderful to have him here, the kids and I get comfortable with him here… and that makes the separation harder.

K has been near tears most of the day. She’s almost 11 and she understands more than I wish she did. She’s cuddled up with one of her favorite stuffed animals. I’m not sure what is worse… know that my husband has left or watching how hard it is for my children.

So tonight, she and I will watch “Meet the Robinsons” and, in the word of Walt Disney, “we keep moving forward”.

Happy Father’s Day… From Afar


On Father’s Day morning, kids around the world (Yes, it’s Father’s Day today in other countries too) are waking their father’s up with gifts, cards and giggles!  Unfortunately, for many children with deployed military fathers, they are not able to wake their daddies this morning.

We were lucky that this morning we could call Daddy to say, “Happy Father’s Day”.  But this week, leading up to today has been a bit emotional.  A brought home her Father’s Day gift from school and was very upset that she couldn’t give it to Daddy.  I had to tell her that we could mail it to him.  And R came home with lollipops for Daddy.  He said he’d save them until he got home.

We learn how to celebrate many things from afar while we are a family of a deployed soldier.  Some families save everything and celebrate when they return.  Other’s, like us, mail packages for each celebration.  And we usually send enough that the celebration can include everyone.  With all we do, it still doesn’t make it easy for us at home.  We still miss them, pray for them and look forward to the day that they return!!!

Getting Use to Him Being Gone


We all are getting use to Hubby being gone.

K can’t wait for the phone to ring in hopes that it’s Daddy.  R is not ignoring the phone and not wanting to talk to Daddy.  A is acting as if nothing is different.  Then there is T, she has become my new appendage!

Being almost 4, she just doesn’t understand why Daddy has gone.  It’s like she’s afraid I’m going to leave too.  She follows me everywhere again, as if she was a toddler again.  I’m doing the dishes and she’s there.  In the laundry room, she’s there.  And of course, we all know that mothers can not go to the toilet on their own.  (I believe that’s in the child handbook!)  I do love that she wants to be with me, but getting the chores done is becoming difficult.  But in the end, we will make it work.

As for me, I’ve got my ways too.  Since it’s summer time and all the shows are in reruns, Netflix will be my new best friend.  I started watching “Mad Men” tonight.  It was one of those shows that I always wanted to watch, but didn’t get the chance.  Filling my quiet evenings with things to do is hard for me.  It’s so quiet.  No adult conversation.  Then there is going to bed.  I try real hard to go to bed at a reasonable hour.  Unfortunately, getting into the bed is easy… falling asleep is the hard part.  I miss having his warm body next to me.  Fingers crossed, I will learn to fall asleep easier as the time goes by.

Ending the Pity Party


Okay, so it’s just day one, but I need to end the pity party!!  Hubby is actually still in the states for about one more week.  He has some additional training before he deploys, but we will not see him until his return.  While I could curl up in a ball of self-pity, I won’t allow it!  Hubby would not be happy if I did.  While life is different while he is gone, I need to keep living and I need to show my children, especially my daughters, that I am a self-reliant woman who does not “need” her man (although, I always want him here).

I also suffer from depression.  It runs in my family and went undiagnosed until the birth of my son.  Putting on a happy face is something I’m good at, so the lack of a diagnosis, looking back on it, is not surprising.  On the other hand, there were many signs of my depression going all the way back to high school.  So creating a schedule of how my day should go is extremely important for my depression management.  That also means I must keep moving forward.

So the goal of the day is to create a schedule for my self.  A to-do list that I will follow.  This will create order that has been lacking the past couple of weeks while my husband has been spending family time with us.  It will make sure that I do those things that I relied on my husband to do.  As my sister puts it, “the blue jobs”… oil changes, lawn mowing, taking the rubbish bins to the curb, etc.

Fingers crossed, I’ll been heading my way to order today!!!

He’s Deployed… Again…


It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve been busy.  When hubby is home, I tend to want to do more with him.  With him leaving, I need to have an emotional and creative outlet.  So here I am again, facing our third deployment.

And wow, have things changed from our other deployments.  During the first, I had one toddler.  The second I had two toddlers and a kindergartener.  Now, I have 3 in school (5th, 2nd, 1st) and a preschooler!!  While I don’t think any deployment is easy (being separated from your loved one never is), with each stage of our lives, it gets more challenging.

Drop off was this morning.  My husband has yet to deploy with a unit.  That means that our deployments consist of us driving him to the airport and saying good-bye there.  No rallies or grand send-offs with our Army family – just us.  My oldest K (11 1/2), she started crying first.  She remembers the last time and what it’s like to miss him.  She’s also old enough that she understands world events and even goes to school with children whose parents didn’t return from deployments.  She has sadness and fear in her eyes.

R (8 1/2) is my only son.  He has been insisting for months that Daddy can’t go to war because he’ll get killed.  How to do calm his nerves, but in the same breath have to understand that there is a chance that his father could get killed?  We kept telling him that while it is dangerous, Daddy was going to do his best to stay safe and that we just keep praying to God that he does remain safe.

Then the last two A (almost 7) and T (almost 4) are sad to see Daddy go, but just don’t have the grasp of exactly what is going on.  This is also the first time that T has ever seen her father leave for more than a weekend. She didn’t want to let him go at the airport.  I haven’t seen her hug him that long and hard since she broke her arm!!

I’ve also changed.  I’m older and a bit more cynical.  I put on a brave face and try to keep my tears to myself.  My faith has gotten me through this twice and I know it will do it again.  It will take me a few weeks to get used to sleeping alone; without his arms around me as a drift off to sleep.  And then, before long, we will get into a routine that doesn’t include him.  But in the end, we look forward to having him back to learn our new routine!!