It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve been busy. When hubby is home, I tend to want to do more with him. With him leaving, I need to have an emotional and creative outlet. So here I am again, facing our third deployment.
And wow, have things changed from our other deployments. During the first, I had one toddler. The second I had two toddlers and a kindergartener. Now, I have 3 in school (5th, 2nd, 1st) and a preschooler!! While I don’t think any deployment is easy (being separated from your loved one never is), with each stage of our lives, it gets more challenging.
Drop off was this morning. My husband has yet to deploy with a unit. That means that our deployments consist of us driving him to the airport and saying good-bye there. No rallies or grand send-offs with our Army family – just us. My oldest K (11 1/2), she started crying first. She remembers the last time and what it’s like to miss him. She’s also old enough that she understands world events and even goes to school with children whose parents didn’t return from deployments. She has sadness and fear in her eyes.
R (8 1/2) is my only son. He has been insisting for months that Daddy can’t go to war because he’ll get killed. How to do calm his nerves, but in the same breath have to understand that there is a chance that his father could get killed? We kept telling him that while it is dangerous, Daddy was going to do his best to stay safe and that we just keep praying to God that he does remain safe.
Then the last two A (almost 7) and T (almost 4) are sad to see Daddy go, but just don’t have the grasp of exactly what is going on. This is also the first time that T has ever seen her father leave for more than a weekend. She didn’t want to let him go at the airport. I haven’t seen her hug him that long and hard since she broke her arm!!
I’ve also changed. I’m older and a bit more cynical. I put on a brave face and try to keep my tears to myself. My faith has gotten me through this twice and I know it will do it again. It will take me a few weeks to get used to sleeping alone; without his arms around me as a drift off to sleep. And then, before long, we will get into a routine that doesn’t include him. But in the end, we look forward to having him back to learn our new routine!!