Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

We Love Skype!!

We were able to Skype with Hubby for about 25 minutes yesterday!   It was wonderful to see and hear him.  All the kids said hello, but K stayed the longest since she was unable to talk to him on the phone the day before… his call got dropped!

Thanks goodness for all this communication.  It makes this just a little bit better!


Public Meltdown

I hate when my kids misbehave in public, but we all know it happens!!  I rarely take them all to the store together so that we do not have any issues.  BUT, during a deployment it’s a different issue.

We were in the Exchange and T decided that she wanted candy and threw a royal fit because I said no.  I was totally embarrassed and just wanted to run!!  But I had to finish the sale that I was in the check-out for.  Thankfully, the checkout lady worked quickly!  She asked why she was crying and when I told her, she said to me, “It happens”.

While T had her meltdown publicly, I got to the car and then had mine.  I just cried and cried and cried.  It’s harder when hubby is gone because no one else is there to assist that knows your child the way you do.  Fingers crossed I can keep them all in check next time!!

Settling In

Hubby called today and let us know that he is at his final destination, even if he will not have his own quarters for a few more days.  He has met his co-workers and found out that a friend of ours is just a few offices down the hall.  I can hear it in his voice that he is doing well, even without us around!

We are settling in at home too.  The kids still miss Daddy, but their behavior is getting better and not as many outbursts as in the first couple of weeks.  We are getting into our new groove and getting used to the new normal.  On the bright side, in the next few weeks, we will be able to see friends and family while we keep busy this summer!!

Getting Use to Him Being Gone

We all are getting use to Hubby being gone.

K can’t wait for the phone to ring in hopes that it’s Daddy.  R is not ignoring the phone and not wanting to talk to Daddy.  A is acting as if nothing is different.  Then there is T, she has become my new appendage!

Being almost 4, she just doesn’t understand why Daddy has gone.  It’s like she’s afraid I’m going to leave too.  She follows me everywhere again, as if she was a toddler again.  I’m doing the dishes and she’s there.  In the laundry room, she’s there.  And of course, we all know that mothers can not go to the toilet on their own.  (I believe that’s in the child handbook!)  I do love that she wants to be with me, but getting the chores done is becoming difficult.  But in the end, we will make it work.

As for me, I’ve got my ways too.  Since it’s summer time and all the shows are in reruns, Netflix will be my new best friend.  I started watching “Mad Men” tonight.  It was one of those shows that I always wanted to watch, but didn’t get the chance.  Filling my quiet evenings with things to do is hard for me.  It’s so quiet.  No adult conversation.  Then there is going to bed.  I try real hard to go to bed at a reasonable hour.  Unfortunately, getting into the bed is easy… falling asleep is the hard part.  I miss having his warm body next to me.  Fingers crossed, I will learn to fall asleep easier as the time goes by.

Ending the Pity Party

Okay, so it’s just day one, but I need to end the pity party!!  Hubby is actually still in the states for about one more week.  He has some additional training before he deploys, but we will not see him until his return.  While I could curl up in a ball of self-pity, I won’t allow it!  Hubby would not be happy if I did.  While life is different while he is gone, I need to keep living and I need to show my children, especially my daughters, that I am a self-reliant woman who does not “need” her man (although, I always want him here).

I also suffer from depression.  It runs in my family and went undiagnosed until the birth of my son.  Putting on a happy face is something I’m good at, so the lack of a diagnosis, looking back on it, is not surprising.  On the other hand, there were many signs of my depression going all the way back to high school.  So creating a schedule of how my day should go is extremely important for my depression management.  That also means I must keep moving forward.

So the goal of the day is to create a schedule for my self.  A to-do list that I will follow.  This will create order that has been lacking the past couple of weeks while my husband has been spending family time with us.  It will make sure that I do those things that I relied on my husband to do.  As my sister puts it, “the blue jobs”… oil changes, lawn mowing, taking the rubbish bins to the curb, etc.

Fingers crossed, I’ll been heading my way to order today!!!

He’s Deployed… Again…

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but I’ve been busy.  When hubby is home, I tend to want to do more with him.  With him leaving, I need to have an emotional and creative outlet.  So here I am again, facing our third deployment.

And wow, have things changed from our other deployments.  During the first, I had one toddler.  The second I had two toddlers and a kindergartener.  Now, I have 3 in school (5th, 2nd, 1st) and a preschooler!!  While I don’t think any deployment is easy (being separated from your loved one never is), with each stage of our lives, it gets more challenging.

Drop off was this morning.  My husband has yet to deploy with a unit.  That means that our deployments consist of us driving him to the airport and saying good-bye there.  No rallies or grand send-offs with our Army family – just us.  My oldest K (11 1/2), she started crying first.  She remembers the last time and what it’s like to miss him.  She’s also old enough that she understands world events and even goes to school with children whose parents didn’t return from deployments.  She has sadness and fear in her eyes.

R (8 1/2) is my only son.  He has been insisting for months that Daddy can’t go to war because he’ll get killed.  How to do calm his nerves, but in the same breath have to understand that there is a chance that his father could get killed?  We kept telling him that while it is dangerous, Daddy was going to do his best to stay safe and that we just keep praying to God that he does remain safe.

Then the last two A (almost 7) and T (almost 4) are sad to see Daddy go, but just don’t have the grasp of exactly what is going on.  This is also the first time that T has ever seen her father leave for more than a weekend. She didn’t want to let him go at the airport.  I haven’t seen her hug him that long and hard since she broke her arm!!

I’ve also changed.  I’m older and a bit more cynical.  I put on a brave face and try to keep my tears to myself.  My faith has gotten me through this twice and I know it will do it again.  It will take me a few weeks to get used to sleeping alone; without his arms around me as a drift off to sleep.  And then, before long, we will get into a routine that doesn’t include him.  But in the end, we look forward to having him back to learn our new routine!!

I’m so Blessed to have Two Families!

I am very close to my family.  My sister is one of my best friends.  I talk to her and my mother almost daily — even living overseas.  So I am very thankful for the inexpensive “call around the world” phone plans!!  And then there are those family members that I don’t get along with as well.  I love and respect them, but we dont’ always see eye-to-eye.  Just like my Army family. 

And just like my biological family, I try my best to support and help them any way I can.  I have friends that are like my sisters and some like my mother.  Soldiers that remind me of uncles, brothers and fathers (although, the older I get, the less parental figures I find and the more parental I get).  We try to support each other emotionally.  We pray for each other, give hugs when needed and remember important events. 

We also help each other when things are needed.  Our unit has a meals committee that has a group of ladies that makes meals when a new baby is born, household good arrive, and when someone is in the hospital or sick.  Recently, we had a situation when a soldier was suddenly awarded custody of his two tween children.  He had been living in the barracks.  So to make their new quarters more cozy (he had gotten some items from the loan closet) we got together and found things that we could do without and they needed.  Since we just got a new grill, I cleaned up my old one (which was still in fine condition, just too small for my growing family) and bought him bbq tools, charcoal and matches.  I also included a meal of hamburgers and hot dogs — can’t have a grill with nothing to cook on it!  I also made care packages for his kids.  Not knowing them, I put a journal and pens along with toiletries and snacks.

The best part was that it wasn’t much, but they were so grateful.  They didn’t care that the grill was used or that I bought them soap.  They graciously thanked me.  Above all, it made me feel good to help out my “family”.  If it were my biological sister moving into a new home, I would send her something, so why not help my Army family.

 Another thing that never crossed my mind (until someone questioned me about it) was the soldiers rank.  Some people would think that it wasn’t right for me to do what I did because of the rank structure.  But all I saw was a family in need — and they were part of my Army family.

So when I am without my biological family, I am very thankful for the Army family that was brought to me by chance!