N is for Navigating the Army System
For our husbands, the Army is their way of life. The follow Army rules and regulations all the time. It is their job and that is how they are trained. For the spouses, it can be difficult to learn how to fall into the way things are done in the Army.
I will say, any thing that has to be done on post, I try to have my husband do it. I don’t like having to do the “Army” stuff if I don’t have to. And since we currently live off-post, it makes it easier for him to have to do what needs to be done. He’s on post daily. Unfortunately, he is not always home to do the things that need to be done. This is were the resentment for deployments can creep in.
The way that my husband and I work on this is, again, communication. Even though he could do everything on his own, when he is home, I tend to tag along so I know where to go and what needs to be done. That way if I have to handle something on my own, I have the skills to do so. Also, he tries to keep me informed of the places that have the resources that I may need. Remember that phrase from “School House Rock”, “Knowledge is Power”. It’s exactly that! If you know what needs to be done, you can handle anything!
So ask questions and be patient. Navigating the Army System is not always easy to learn. Before long, you will be able to help other with their questions about what needs to be done. There are also many books that have information about what needs to be done. I will post those in the future.
Note: I am using information that can be found at www.battlemind.army.mil along with my own experience and interpretation of the information given. I do not have any formal schooling on this topic. If you are married to a soldier and need help with redeployment, please contact your post’s mental health clinic, chain of concern or unit chaplain.