So many young girls/women don’t understand that it was less than 100 years ago that women received the right to vote.  And it was women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott and Susan B. Anthony that got the ball rolling.  I wish that more was taught in the schools about these amazing women.  And just maybe we can find role models for our daughters that do not include Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan!!!

If it werent’ for the woman of the United States Suffrage Movement, women would still be unable to vote, not own property and you would never see them holding office or in the military!  Take some time to learn about these women.  You may be surprise about what they did for you and the women that came before you!

To start, let’s look at the word lonely as “Webster” sees it.

Lonely — \ˈlōn-lē\

1. being without company, cut off from others
2. not frequented by human beings
3. sad from being alone
4. producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

I tried to find out more information about this man in mainstream news networks, but the only network that has anything about him is FOX News.  (See the video here.)    ABC and CNN have the same article about the middle east trip that is planned but not substance of exactly who this man is.  I really think that before anyone allows this mosque to be built.  The people who are building this Muslim center need to be looked into. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in freedom of religion, but I think that anyone that is building a center (religious or otherwise) needs to have the true intent shown.  Just like I wouldn’t want the Westboro Baptist Church building a religious center near me or my family.  (That link will lead you to Wikipedia, because I don’t want to add any traffic their rubbish of a website.)  When people use the guise of religion, they need to remember that hate is not/should not be part of their faith.

For some people this is very black and white.  But as an American, I believe in freedom of religion.  Something that others do not have in other countries.  Even in Iraq, Christians have a hard time worshiping the way they choose.  My husband served with an Iraqi soldier that was Catholic.  He kept his family in a far away location and told my husband that because their church had been burnt down, they had to worship when and where they could.  Being Catholic myself, I sent this soldier a set of rosary beads that I made for him and my husband, with my blessing, gave him the patron saint medals that I asked hubby to carry with him while deployed.  My heart ached for this man and his family.  They were not as fortunate as Americans.

The Quakers and the Puritans came to America in order to  escape religious persecution.  I won’t tell you that all was rosy for them once they got here, but it was easier than if they had stayed in England.  But they had a choice. 

As a New Yorker and an Army wife, the September 11 attacks changed my life in many ways.  I had been married for less than a year and was expecting our first child.  We never thought that he would be deployed during war-time.  War didn’t seem like something to consider.  And the attack was in my backyard.  I have friends that watch the towers come down from where they lived and worked.  I was angry for a long, long time!  I still get angry, but my anger changed over time.  First it was the loss of life and destruction, but now, the time my husband leaves his family, leaves me. 

So how can these people who decided to build this mosque think that it was a good thing.  I know that it was not them that did it and we should not blame the religion.  Any type of radical religion is dangerous and, as I see it, corrupt.  But unfortunately, this religion is where these radical terrorists came from. 

While on one hand, I believe in freedom of religion, I also think that the organizers are being insensitive.

Any thoughts?  Let me know.

On my search today, August 5, there was a significant birth and death, but I’m sure that few people even know these ladies.  It was the birth of Mary Ritter Beard and the death of Millicent Garrett Fawcett.  Both ladies were part of the women’s suffrage.  Ms. Beard in both the United States and Great Britain, and Ms. Fawcett in Great Britain.  I read about what these ladies did.  And as I read, I realized that these ladies were extremely liberal for the time that they lived.  They did things that were not the “norm” of that time and wanted massive change!

For the most part, people think that because I am married to a soldier that I am very conservative.  But if you get to know me, you will realize that I am one that is not easily labeled.  It has been often said that I am too liberal to be a republican, but to conservative to be a democrat.  I’m rather stuck in the middle. 

So the next time that someone scoffs at a liberal idea, remind them that some liberal ideas are not all bad.  If they were, women may still not have the right to vote or own property!!!

And just like my biological family, I try my best to support and help them any way I can.  I have friends that are like my sisters and some like my mother.  Soldiers that remind me of uncles, brothers and fathers (although, the older I get, the less parental figures I find and the more parental I get).  We try to support each other emotionally.  We pray for each other, give hugs when needed and remember important events. 

We also help each other when things are needed.  Our unit has a meals committee that has a group of ladies that makes meals when a new baby is born, household good arrive, and when someone is in the hospital or sick.  Recently, we had a situation when a soldier was suddenly awarded custody of his two tween children.  He had been living in the barracks.  So to make their new quarters more cozy (he had gotten some items from the loan closet) we got together and found things that we could do without and they needed.  Since we just got a new grill, I cleaned up my old one (which was still in fine condition, just too small for my growing family) and bought him bbq tools, charcoal and matches.  I also included a meal of hamburgers and hot dogs — can’t have a grill with nothing to cook on it!  I also made care packages for his kids.  Not knowing them, I put a journal and pens along with toiletries and snacks.

The best part was that it wasn’t much, but they were so grateful.  They didn’t care that the grill was used or that I bought them soap.  They graciously thanked me.  Above all, it made me feel good to help out my “family”.  If it were my biological sister moving into a new home, I would send her something, so why not help my Army family.

 Another thing that never crossed my mind (until someone questioned me about it) was the soldiers rank.  Some people would think that it wasn’t right for me to do what I did because of the rank structure.  But all I saw was a family in need — and they were part of my Army family.

So when I am without my biological family, I am very thankful for the Army family that was brought to me by chance!

I have respect for all of our military service members, but I think my respect and admiration is greater for the women who choose to serve.  Maybe even more for during draft-era military women — because they VOLUNTEERED!  I thank them all for doing something that I would not choose to do myself. 

Thank you ladies!  You are an inspiration to so many!  And I use you as role-models for my daughters!!

I also learned a lot!  I will admit that AFTB Level I has some areas that I thought were way basic.  And it could be possibly because I read many books and asked my husband and other wives LOTS of questions.  After taking all three levels, I ended up with a large binder of wonderful information.  I then went on to take the FRG leader training which was extremely helpful when I became a FRG leader and still comes in handy in my role as a mentor to other FRG leaders.  I had also planned on attending the training for AFTB teachers.  unfortunately, it was cancelled by an ice storm and having baby #2 and then moving and deployments and more babies stopped me.  But, if I am lucky, I will be attending the training this fall.  Then I will be able to teach these valuable classes and use my experiences as an Army wife to help others. 

So if you an opportunity to take these classes in person, do so!!  It is a great opportunity.  And if they are not available in your area or you would prefer to take them online, do that!  A little education goes a long way. 

For more information — check out it our here —> Army Family Team Building

I bring this up because of a blog that I ran across recently.  I’m not even going to share the link because it’s not worth it.  This blogger happens to be both a soldier and an Army wife.  And instead of understanding how difficult it can be for Army wives, she bashed us.  She felt that we were all a bunch of whiney women that sat around “drinking iced tea and catering to our red, white and blue families”.  Nice, huh?  Overall, I found that she was bitter and angry because she choose a path that did not make her happy.  She complained about how some Army wives said that the were “on their second deployment”.  Stating that we (Army wives) weren’t on a deployment”  Sorry lady, but we (Army families) go through deployments together, even if, we ourselves are not “deployed”. 

Now don’t get me wrong, are there some Army wives that are chronic complainers.  “Oh woe is me, my husband is gone and all I am is lonely and unable to live normally.”  We all know those types of wives, but I’m not willing to disregard their feelings to make myself feel better or look like I am a better person.  And we all have those moments, but some of us choose to remain positive and live the best we can with or without our husbands.  One piece of advice I was given before I married my husband was, “You have to learn to live with him and learn to live without him”.  This is so true!  (Check out my post about that statement here.)  So when I meet the “chronic complainer”, instead of criticizing her, I try to help her see the bright side and help you make it easier for her. 

To me, this soldier/wife blogger is no different then the women that fight over who has it harder, the working mom or the stay-at-home-mom.  Everyone has their difficulties and everyone has it easier in different ways.  So let’s stop bashing each other, try to be more sympathetic and empathetic.  It would make the world a better place.

I try so hard not to be “that officer’s wife” because, as my dear friend once said to me, “I gave my hand, I didn’t raise my hand”.  I do things so that people know that I am not the soldier.  When I introduce myself to a soldier, I use my first name, not “Mrs. XXX”  and when a soldier says, “I’m SGT XXX”, I always ask, what can I call you.  I call all soldiers by their first name — the only exception is soldiers that out-rank my husband.  And that, to me, is just a sign of respect.  I do not expect anyone to call me “Mrs XXX”.  I feel funny when any adults does that.  The way I see it, a soldier is a soldier, regardless of what their rank it.  Because of that, I will treat them all the same.

I’ve also found another blog that wrote about this.  I’ve enjoyed their comments and they do, for the most part, reflect my own.  In this one, “Argghhh!  The Home of Jonah’s Military Guys +1“ mentioned how sometimes, wearing rank of your husband can be a good thing.  And yes, it can be.  You need someone to get something moving for the CDC or an issue with services, it can help.  Unfortunately, the abuse of power over shadows the good that can happen at times.  Here’s how it helped my husband and I once… We had just been married and housing was slow on the move to get us quarters.  We knew that quarters were available (there were six empty homes), but they kept telling us that there was nothing available.  I received a phone call from the LTC’s wife and she asked me when we were moving.  When I told her what was going on, she was shocked and told me she was sure that something would come available soon.  The next day, the LTC came to my husband to ask what was happening with housing (this is not a common occurrence).  He told him the same thing I told the LTC’s wife.  That afternoon, we received a phone call that our quarters were available.  I really do not think that it was a coincidence.  It was a combination of the LTC and his wife calling housing.  And I am sure that the LTC’s wife did not threaten the folks at housing, but I’m sure, just knowing who she was helped in them “finding” something available.

I will continue to treat people with respect and hope that they will get to know me for me and not because of the man who I am married too.  I am my own person and hope that they will understand that I do not wear my husband’s rank.